If you’re single and looking, you have a list. Maybe it’s not written, or even long, but you have soulmate ‘musts and wishes’ – at least in your mind. If you’re a woman, these usually include, “a sense of humor,” or “a good career,” or like a friend of mine who never forgot what her mom told her, “tall with a full set of hair. Think of your children.” If you’re a man, the list may include, “great legs,” or “likes basketball,” and maybe even, “makes lasagna like my mom.”
Unfortunately, The List is typically a very mental thing. Career, personality, hair, body, food – all the usual suspects are there. But when it comes to love, all of these activities, vocation, and looks won’t count as much as something else: feelings. Read More…
Recently, I told a friend about someone I had met a while back and how I’d felt an immediate connection to this person. My friend looked at me with wise eyes and asked, “connection or attraction?” Interesting point. How many of us mistake the feeling of attraction for a potentially lasting connection with someone, what we can develop into a healthy relationship? Plenty – as evidenced by the increasing divorce rate based on “irreconcilable differences”. But the question begged to be asked: When you first meet someone, how do you know when it’s love and when it’s lust? Read More…
Life is an ongoing learning experience, and it is pretty interesting to view dating the same way. One way to learn a lot about yourself during the dating process is by really observing new people that come into your life. By observing, I mean really taking a close look: Instead of getting emotionally or physically involved off the bat, the idea is to have an actual conversation – or several – get to know the person that life has positioned at your same time and space, and see what it is about this being that you are supposed to learn. To do this, you can use a technique we here at Silvie+Maryl like to call “the man in the mirror”. Read More…
Tired of the bs you find in the dating scene nowadays? Do you feel a bit lost and over the whole thing, but still hope that the next relationship might be the one? Without guidance, being single and out in the dating world can be a little confusing. But bad experiences, misunderstandings, wasting yours and others’ time can all be avoided by simply paying attention to what we call RED FLAGS.
In order to be alert for red flags (and life in general), it is imperative that we develop three things ourselves first: the ability to be present, good listening skills, and the courage to ask the right questions. Read More…
Have you heard of the saying, “it’s better to be alone than in bad company”? This is one my mottos. Although I am happily married, I’m constantly talking to and advising women over 30 on how to find love and maintain a healthy relationship. Now more than ever, there are a lot more single women over 30 and although they are fabulous, they still approach love like they were back in the 1900s. These women aren’t spinsters, in fact, they are highly intelligent, gorgeous, independent women who are not looking to settle. Times have changed. I’m here to tell you that we are not living in the 1900’s anymore, that there is nothing wrong with you, that some women at this very time are divorced from unhappy marriages…and some are still in unfulfilled, dead-end marriages. That is not love and it’s certainly not what you want. Read More…
